Hello Beautiful People,
We are well into 2023 and things are interesting in the world to say the least. If you watch any form of media, either social or the news, one’s mind could easily wander to spaceships and alien abductions! I’m not going into detail because there’s plenty of “information” in our faces perpetuating fear above all else, and because it is my goal to be a respite for the insanity!
Change is inevitable, some of it is uncomfortable, sometimes it’s downright terrifying….very often we look back on change and think “thank god that happened!”. The challenge is to cruise through perpetual change with an open mind; viewing what’s uncomfortable as contrast, all of the unknowns as potential; resisting our minds’ natural inclination to assume that things won’t work out. We drag our past experiences forward to judge the present and meet the future with “what if’s” coated in fear.
But I have a “what if’ scenario….what if everything does work out? What if it already is working out? Being that our minds are so lodged in the past and worrying about the future, it’s likely that we’ll miss what’s happening for us in the now.
We are missing out on so much of our gift of life by missing the now, by not being present.
So how the hell do we stop the insistence of our mind to operate in this past/future fear based non-reality?
Well….you must know that my answer is going to be meditation, but not just any meditation.
Yes, there are many many beautiful, yet general practices of meditation to follow, many many of which I have practiced over many years of meditating. BUT I am here to tell you to truly experience the gains that we seek, the peace and ease of mind and heart that we hear meditation has to offer, we need a practice that is personalized.
Simply stated, meditation is a process of focusing your mind on an object (perhaps the breath, maybe a visualization or even an affirmation), with the intentions of:
* turning off the incessant mental chatter
* allowing yourSelf to be grounded in present moment (relieving anxiousness and worry)
* the object to represent qualities that you seek to magnify within yourself
The trick is to know what the object of meditation should be, which you might think is an easy task BUT (so many BUT’s today, lol)… choosing one’s object of meditation is anything but an easy task. It’s difficult to be objective about our Self and super easy to unwittingly choose an object to focus on that will actually strengthen what it is that we seek to change about ourselves.
Here’s a short story demonstrating what I’m talking about:
Some years ago, I was in a miserable situation. My ex husband felt very strongly that moving our family into his parents house was the best way for him to be able to support and provide for everyone (need I say more?!). It was a disaster. His father, who had no longer lived in the house for quite a few years, wanted to be bought out of the house…..fair enough. BUT (these damn ‘but’s, lol) his mom had done some secretive, creative financial management out of necessity to provide for her three children as a single mother. The icing on the shit pie was that my then husband was also in commercial shipping, meaning that he would be gone for months at a time leaving me and my two young sons to have to eat that shit pie in what became that house of misery.
I was hurt, scared and very very angry. I felt trapped and abandoned and it wasn’t just me….in allowing…..in choosing to allow my life to go in this direction, I had also put my children in what I felt to be a mentally & emotionally unsafe environment. To say that things were ugly is an epic understatement.
I went to my teacher to ask for a practice which would help me get through the perpetually contentious confrontations….I wanted to feel strong & unbreakable in a situation which felt completely disempowering. I asked my teacher for my object of meditation to be a mountain. Not just any mountain but the fierce, unconquerable summit of Mt. Everest! My teacher denied my request stating that the qualities of a mountain include being completely fixed and inflexible and that it would only serve to strengthen my stubborn streak which would only hurt me in the current situation.
She wisely chose a focus of meditation which not only served my wishes but really engaged my mind which had been spiraling out of control and living in worse case scenarios.
See what I mean?
It’s like people/media/science stating that meditation is equivalent to, if not better than pharmaceutical antidepressants but I debate. Sitting an individual alone and in silence, whose mind is in a deep dark place is not a good plan and will actually aggravate the situation.
So….having a carefully selected object of meditation is necessary. If we want to experience true peace of mind (it is indeed possible), we’ll need to both commit to a DAILY meditation practice and have an appropriate object of meditation. Our daily meditation practice does not need to be very long, but it needs to happen on the daily OR you can simply say “to hell with it, I’m totally ok with letting my mind go crazy and run my life”. You might as well hand all of your choices over to a 4 year old and quite frankly, it’s very possible that you might land in a happier reality if you did rather than letting your programmed brain write the script and run the show!
So, the million dollar question is: how does one go about knowing which meditation practice is suitable?
Well….you can certainly begin with a little self-guided workshop. Reflect on what it is that you would like to achieve or evolve in your personal growth. Ask yourself why this pattern exists but be very careful here…we’re not trying to jump into a blame game or get stuck in the past; we’re seeking to find the root of the situation. Then, explore how this pattern has been acting out and limiting in your life. Finally, seek a mantra or visualization as if you’ve already overcome the challenge.
Your other option is to find a qualified meditation teacher who understands this process and how to effectively assign a productive & appropriate object of meditation.
I offer what I call a “Custom Meditation Prescription” which is a 3 month, personalized meditation practice just for you! It begins with some simple journal questions before our initial, virtual meeting. I’ll review those questions beginning to ascertain your personal needs, which we’ll then dig more deeply into with a 1 hour initial assessment conversation. I’ll take that information, curate a practice designed just for you, record it into three YouTube videos of varying lengths and share them with you to practice daily!
Don’t worry, I won’t leave you hanging there…..we’ll have a monthly check in during the 3 month prescriptive period of time to ensure that your meditation practice is guiding you in the direction that you desire to go.
Whether you choose to work with me, another meditation professional or journey on your own, I can not encourage you enough to adopt a daily meditation practice. People can change, YOU can change. Saying things like “it’s just how I am” or “it’s how I was raised” might be true, but our brain is completely malleable, meaning that you can change it but make no mistake…it is a CHOICE and takes COMMITMENT.
I’ll leave you with this…any guilt at prioritizing yourself is a waste of energy. Any belief that you cannot change is completely false. Change is happening, it is perpetual, it is evolution and it is necessary. We have the choice to resist and suffer, or get into flow and while we will certainly feel suffering in our human experience (because we love and care), it won’t be due to our fear and resistance to change.
I wish you well….
Custom Meditation Prescription is valued at $1199….I was initially charging $699 but in light of the current financial reality of life (can you say ‘recession’), I’ve significantly cut the cost to just $399.